As I was brushing my teeth the other day, and thinking about some of the people I’ve really been drawn to in my life (most of them outspoken and completely authentic and not into the status quo), and realized that some other people in my life would probably NOT relate to them (and haven’t), this is what I realized.
I think it’s profound.
I am a quirky girl stuck in an ordinary world.
Maybe that’s why I’ve always felt like a square peg in a round hole. I was taught that things are / should be a certain way, only my true self doesn’t fit into those rules. I didn’t realize that until I started waking up to who I really am a couple of years ago. And I guess I didn’t really realize it until that aha “quirky girl” moment.
We do this to kids (I did it to my own). We do this to others. We do this to ourselves. We want everybody to think and be like us. Only, they aren’t. And if we force square pegs to fit in round holes, they get hurt on the way in, if they can ever get there. Pieces of them need to break off. Ouch. And it hurt so much to get in, they don’t feel like coming back out.
And, I’ve written about this before. From 6th grade all through high school I was pretty unhappy. 5 years. And I thought of checking out. Because I didn’t fit into the world that the ordinary created. My happy world was one of much daydreaming, supreme kindness (I couldn’t find it), and getting lost in books. Probably because the real world didn’t appeal to me.
This morning, I realized I still am a daydreamer. And I write in my mind. Sentences that drift from my mind into the atmosphere. Some I remember, most I don’t. But I do remember where my mind drifted this morning.
I was walking down Pine Hill Trail on my hike. It’s been worked on multiple times to become a trail of stone steps. And I wondered….what would future generations (or maybe it will be future humans if we wipe most of ourselves out) think of these stone steps? Would they wonder what kind of natural occurrences could shape such a thing? Would they think this was a stairway to somewhere, but that somewhere got destroyed? Or it was some kind of creative artistry? Or maybe steps some primitive civilization created in an attempt to reach God? Would they come up with all these theories (like the theories our current society comes up with for things we don’t understand), not knowing that it was really just a bunch of AmeriCorps volunteers, making the trail easier for people to climb? I mean, really, who would come up with the idea of adding a gazillion stone steps on a trail, not just an occasional one here or there where it was especially steep? And this is where my mind landed….
What if we’ve gotten most everything wrong?