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Our real selves

There are some things we can’t change about ourselves. Maybe we can with surgery, but if we don’t want to do that, our physical appearance is pretty much what we’ve been given at birth.

Like big noses, big hips, baldness, lots of wrinkles, insert whatever here: ________.

These things are all “less” than the human physical ideal. Not exactly sure who sets that ideal, but maybe it’s just part of us because little kids tease each other about physical attributes. Or maybe they are just picking on “different.” I remember as a little kid a neighbor of the same age asking me why my eyes were so wide open/big.

Wide-eyed innocence, maybe? Let’s just say growing up that sure can get squelched. All of a sudden, I let that kid make me think something was wrong with my eyes.

And I was not one of the lucky ones to get a small button nose. My nose has a bump in it and is not small. It’s a combination of my dad’s nose and my mom’s nose. Funny how that works. It was really tough growing up with this nose – kids can be so cruel. But what is even worse is when I run into someone who is suppose to like me, suppose to be my friend, who teases me about it. Luckily I don’t run into that too often. But I just did fairly recently and guess what?

Jokes about someone’s less-than-perfect physical qualities hurt. No matter how old you are.

The scripture in the Bible that says, “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” applies here.

But what really prompted me to write this were some jokes made towards a bald person in my family this past weekend. By other family members. At least two of them.

How is that okay? Tell me, how is that okay? I’m sure he’s used to it, I had to get used to the nose jokes. But at least I don’t hear them too often by friends (barring that recent one) and family.

So, perhaps we cannot change our physical experiences. But I’ll tell you what we can change. We can change the words that come out of our mouths. And we can do that by changing our hearts. By learning to love everyone for who they are. By celebrating differences and uniqueness. By getting a better self-esteem and/or outlook on life so that you don’t have to cut people down to make yourself feel better. By learning – maybe from this blog post – that it’s not okay to make fun of someone’s physical features. It’s just plain mean.

Let’s all work on changing the things about us that we can change for the better, and learn to love our physical selves just the way we are. Because who we are is more than our outsides. Our physical body is just our shell. The real us is inside. In our hearts.

Love, me

Me, profile view

Written by:
Chris
Published on:
April 6, 2015

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Chris Samoiloff

Princeton, Massachusetts

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