Three Dogs, a Chicken, and Adrenaline

I cannot believe how these puppy diary stories keep coming.  Whoever would have thought my life would turn into adventure after adventure?  Because of a dog.

This morning Columbus was doing his usual crying like a baby, waiting for me to come down and take him for a walk.  Such a long night with no people.  He really can’t stand me not waking up at the crack of dawn like he does.

I was planning on a walk with my friend Dot at 8.  My day off from work; I wanted to sleep in a bit.  Since I couldn’t stand the crying and 8am was still a ways off, I decided to put Columbus on his long lead and let him play with Koda and Stella.  So, out we went.  He frolicked.  They frolicked.  They spun around and landed splat on my new azalea bushes.  I redirected them back to the lawn.  A couple of spins then Stella raced through the freshly laid wood chips into my landscaping again, Columbus following, chips flying.  Columbus peed on my flowers.  I began thinking this wasn’t a good idea.

I led them back to the lawn again.  Threw the ball for Koda.  Columbus started running down the driveway after her and ran around Tracey’s car.  I thought he got the leash caught under the tires and headed after him.  But I didn’t see the leash, so I assumed he was free on the other side.  Then it hit me.  On the other side was the chicken coop.  Don’t let the door be open.  Please.  Don’t let Columbus be after that chicken.  Please.  I started running.

And then it began.  The chicken was squawking in panic.  I came around the car.  The door to the coop was wide open.  Columbus had the chicken in his mouth (her name is Sunshine, btw, and we got her from a friend to help train the dogs to be nice to the chickens which needless to say isn’t going well).

I really can’t even describe what happened next.  It’s a blur.  It entailed me freeing the chicken and trying to protect her from both goldens.  The chicken finally escaped outside and jimmied herself between our log pile and a wall.  Koda started to come towards her from outside.  More yelling on my part.  Koda at least listened.

I finally got Stella out of the chicken coop.  Once I yelled at her she stopped what she was doing, but she also wouldn’t move.  Whatever does this crazy lady want, she must have been thinking.  I took the opportunity to bite and growl at Columbus again. This biting my dog is becoming a bad habit.  I started walking back to the house, my pants covered in chicken poop, as was Columbus’ long lead.  And I could feel a dog hair in between my teeth.  But there was no way I was sticking my covered-in-poop hands into my mouth to get it out.

Kelly came walking out of the house and offered to take Columbus.  At that point, I think I was experiencing the after-effects of an adrenaline rush.  I couldn’t breathe.  I felt shaky.  I felt like I was going to throw up and cry at the same time.

I told her Columbus’ leash was covered in poop.  She said she didn’t care.  Good daughter.  I told her to take Stella in, too.

I finally caught my breath. I went back and extricated Sunshine and held her in my arms as she gently cooed until she was ready to walk around again.  I kept telling her I was sorry.  And as I looked around at all the feathers in that coop, it looked like a chicken had been killed.

I walked back to the house and felt a stinging in my knees (turns out I got “clothes” burns, sort-of like rug burns, I suppose).  I don’t even remember being on my knees, but as I said, it’s all a blur.  Then I felt a twinge in my back.  Oh great.  I have a lot of stuff to get done today, and this weekend, and a sore back is not in the plans.  Luckily, the twinging has persisted only at a very low level and my knees are still a little sore, but I’ll live.

And so, it appears, will Sunshine.